At first blush, Todd's aspiration might seem to fall in the same category as the one Chris once announced for for Stella and Zoey: "as long as they're not prostitutes or drug addicts," he told my dad, "I think we're doing alright."
"Way to aim high," was my dad's only response.
Doing nothing is actually a rather lofty goal in my book. Putting down the phone, the computer, the spatula, the sponge, is not easy for me.
In this year that we've spent in Montana, we've made an intentional effort to slow down and just be. This started with letting go of all of our belongings and daily habits; on our better days, it now influences how we show up for the people and experiences around us.
I've found out that the more time I devote to being still, the more serene I feel, and the more present I am, even when things around me get (inevitably) crazy.
I used to measure my worth based on what I did, not only in terms of work, but in the cultural activities I engaged in, the books I read and so on. Now, I'm more interested in just being present for whatever comes my way.
A year into writing this blog, I've realized that what it's offered me is a place to devote deeper noticing to the little things happening all around me. Just when I was starting to feel a bit sheepish about being an obsessive student of the mundane, my friend, Clare, showed me her mother-in-law's recent book Stay. Peggy Levison Nolan is an acclaimed photographer who frequently photographs everyday scenes — the moments that pass by so routinely that we don't even notice them.
It turns out that on top of being a photographer, Peggy is also a poet. The poems in Stay capture exactly what compels me to continue to write about the little things.
If I stop noticing today, will I notice tomorrow?
+++
Stay
1.
Not necessarily
a moment
memorable for its
drama or the
possibility
of endlessly repeated tales
told to audiences rapt
with morbid curiosity.
None of that.
2.
Not the
slam dunk
or delicious hint of violence
implicated by a reddish black eye.
not the sunset over trees
sunrise over…
over coffee, even.
Not
What you think
should stay.
3.
It’s not
that I
want this
moment
over and
over.
No,
once makes
it
perfect…
Relishing
the soft peach fuzz
prick of
recognition.
4.
Stay you
say to the dog
and the dog
may
or may not
stay put
you say to the kids
who may or
may not
may not
probably
stay young
forever
may wish to
stay open
to
suggestions
or
stay
If I didn’t
take the picture
will I
remember to
bring a
camera next time a
spider
climbs around the
nearest
non-event?
So take the
picture or
don’t but
don’t look
at me
so close
don’t look
why are you
still
looking at me
look at me
look
What on earth
are you
looking at
anyway? I think you missed it.
+ + +
It is quite possible that the secrets of life
are lodged in ordinariness so disguised
that we pass them by, trying, in a great hurry,
to get somewhere, missing the good stuff……
long hairs tangled in the drain,
adolescent peach fuzz,
knees wrinkled but still promising,
a sweater that is a rose.
— Peggy Levison Nolan, 2012
It is quite possible that the secrets of life
are lodged in ordinariness so disguised
that we pass them by, trying, in a great hurry,
to get somewhere, missing the good stuff……
long hairs tangled in the drain,
adolescent peach fuzz,
knees wrinkled but still promising,
a sweater that is a rose.
— Peggy Levison Nolan, 2012
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