"Am I a miracle too?"

This week's been full of wondrous events, both big and small.

On the one hand, I experienced Stella unloading the dishwasher for the first time ever. In the life of a mother, (especially a mother who handles this dreaded task daily,) this is actually a momentous occasion.

[I did call it miraculous, which led Zoey to ask whether she was a miracle too. The weight of our words... and the impact! It's almost too much to bear.]

Meanwhile, outside of our little house, we have real wonder: the acknowledgement of the civil right of marriage for all people of all persuasions. Here, the feeling truly is overwhelming.

Every year during gay pride in San Francisco, Market street was adorned with rainbow flags. I spent a good bit of time gazing at the flag just outside my window, dappled in light, sometimes limp, sometimes flying high, a perfect symbol of the struggle.

Tonight, we celebrate. And there are other things as well to savor:

The chickens are getting bigger, and they've moved out of our house and into the coop. That means we're entirely free of farm animals under our roof. I have to admit it's a bit of a relief, though they were loved.



And outside our window, up until only a few days ago, there was a sad looking little tree, really a collection of naked branches. Now there's this captivating fushia delight.

"This whole time I thought it was dead — amazing!" remarked our local 60-pound gardening expert. I felt the same way.

Because here spring is so slow, and anticipated, and subtle, I've actually noticed things I've never seen before, like trees growing leaves in the course of a single day. This stuff was hard to observe in the fecundity of San Francisco, (what wasn't blooming?,) but here it's rare and short-lived and, like many scarce things, takes on a heightened, fetishy quality.

As we creep out further away from our fireplace and into the yard, Stella and Zoey are savoring their new-found ability to play outside unconstrained by great swaths of clothing. I came home last night to discover Zoey sailing through the air, and a 30-foot long daisy chain in our living room.

Finally, another wonder. Just two days ago I was in Washingon, DC, at my 20-year high school reunion:

The cathedral, a fixture of my spirit even today.

National Cathedral School, which I attended for 9 years.

Dulles Airport, where Stella & I made our second attempt to get back to Bozeman.

And now, I am here.

I'm still trying to process it all and, as I do, am reminded of a line in my favorite Wordsworth poem, which I recited one Thursday morning, as I did every Thursday morning in Mr. Tibbett's English class in the school pictured above, where we memorized and recited one poem or song each week.

My Heart Leaps Up
by William Wordsworth
My heart leaps up when I behold A rainbow in the sky: So was it when my life began; So is it now I am a man; So be it when I shall grow old, Or let me die! The Child is father of the Man; And I could wish my days to be Bound each to each by natural piety.

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We carry our childhood selves with us wherever we go; they're so much older and deeper within us than the fresh new faces we greet in the mirror each day.